“The shit about life is that no one ever prepares you for heartbreak. Sure, you can read about it, talk to other people about it, but it’s never as real as when it happens to you, and by that time that it does, you have no other option but to take it and take it and have people expecting you to get over it eventually.”
“I loved him. I loved him.
I could have loved him an entire lifetime,
but life has a funny way of changing plans
and changing people until you can’t really recognize them anymore.
Even the days you swore you’d always remember
are begging to be forgotten eventually.
We all have phantoms we are trying to fall out of love with,
so here’s to the ghosts in the next room,
here’s to the parties we never danced at,
the people we never kissed,
and all the time we didn’t spend in love.
I wonder how many people could have chosen me,
could have carried me past the threshold of a house
that isn’t haunted and stayed there because they wanted to.
It’s a strange thing to know that even the living
aren’t all really alive at the same time.
And it’s a shame we couldn’t have all loved each other
the way we talked about,
with our hearts and our skin and our hands
and no time for sorry or polite or please.
I can’t tell you how many times I showed up
in the wrong dreams looking for his face.
One of these days my own will come back to me.
I just can’t remember what it looked like
when he wasn’t the one touching it.”
“And now I’m looking at you… and you’re asking me if I still want you, as if I could stop loving you. As if I would want to give up the thing that makes me stronger than anything else ever has. I never dared give much of myself to anyone before.. but it took years to do it – but, since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely. I still do. If you want me.”
“If you want me, do something about it because i’m done trying for someone who doesn’t do anything for me. It comes to a point where i have to draw the line and just stop. I’ve been trying for 6 months and frankly looking back I deserve better. I didn’t deserve all the pain you’ve caused me. Crying for days, nightmares on end, anxiety attacks because my heart couldn’t handle the hell you gave me. I’ve waited for 6 months and you’re still lingering me around whenever you need me, and It’s just not worth it anymore because I can’t only depend on you at 5 am in the morning when the day is still and you’re calling me saying you miss me. I don’t think i can wake up another day knowing that you’ll leave in the morning, when i need you by my side, when I need at every “time” of the day not before the sun rises. Please don’t waste anymore of our time, don’t stay if you know you can’t make me happy. Its selfish to keep someone you are not in love with. If you’re waiting until we’re ready, then you’ll just be waiting for the rest of your life. If you want me then do something about it because i’m becoming all the days you left me for 6 months.”